Trippin’ over: Royals by Lorde
In less than a month i’ll be turning a year older. another year has passed. another year of learning and memories. don’t get me wrong, i have my fair share of failed relationships; but that’s it, failed. relationships are hard-work, a lot of effort one must put through; a lot of insecurities and doubts, maybe when we get lucky, a lot of love. being single is fun, sometimes it’s lonely but other than that it is my choice.
1. i am still immature. yes at my age, you can laugh at me saying “whattheheck??!!still immature??!!”. but that is exactly the point, immaturity knows no age limits and no boundaries. i like to think of myself as carefree but sometimes i am really just childish; in my decisions, my ways, in my life. i do think being in a relationship entails one to be mature enough to think other than one’s self. maybe i am just not ready for that.
2.single is fun! yes, single-hood is fun. i get to rest and be a couch-potato every rest days. i have all my free time to do just about everything or nothing without having to worry that someone is waiting for me or someone is worried for me. i get to be with my friends and plan get togethers without fear that it may conflict with the anniversaries, dates and other things. my time is all mine. but sometimes having all the time in this world is also lonesome.
3. it saves me money. yes being single saves me money and effort. money that if i am in a relationship will be spend to loads for my cellular phone. i mean being single, i don’t have to text anyone, i am not mandated to reply to someone. i have all my free calls and texts. single-hood saves me from all the effort one puts through when you are in a relationship. effort to think of inventive dates, gifts and so on.
4. i get to focus on my family. i know family should be our first priority; but sometimes when i am in a relationship, family tends to be at the backseat. now, i can be more conscious to things that my family needs and i get to spend my time with them.
5. no drama. most of my relationships require drama. i don’t know why but a good dose of drama is okay to spice things up; but overrated drama?! it drains me, it leaves me insecure and all my fears and doubts resurface out of thin air.
6. i’m still not over you. i have to admit, out of all the reasons in the world, this surely sucks. i have to be honest with myself, maybe by being real i can eventually let you go. but right now, right at this moment, after 8 months of separation i am still not over you. i have to admit, i still hope that eventually you’ll have your senses and you will realize my lost and comeback to me. but after so many wishful thinking, after every shattered hopes; i know that it may never come true. i am still not over you, but everyday i am trying my damn best to love myself more and to live my life. but yes, i still miss you.. so much..
superbkakai 